My blog confession was the place of disgust that I got to as the "knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense" feeling rose up in me. But since then repentance has become something I've started to long for instead of dread. In turning back to Him there is no. shame. Just loving arms and reaffirmed identity that is NOT based on what I do/don't do, but on my infinite worth to Him. I want repentance to be regular; I will choose repent and turn back to my loving Savior again and again! but only as the Holy Spirit chips away at my pride. As he re-extends the invitation to come into the house He's building and residing in (in me), I'll have the power to see repentance as a blessing, not a curse.
Read C.S. Lewis in his explanation of this phenomenon..
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
This song goes so well with this analogy..
Beautiful house he is building, amen? In me. For Him. A place for us to reside, together.
He wants to build that house in each of our souls. Will we let him? Better is ONE DAY in Your house, than thousands elsewhere..